My Year As A New Yorker...
One whole year. 365 days. This shit is bananas. This year FLEW for me. NYC is the fastest moving city in the US which made it go even quicker. Can I say I am a New Yorker? Not necessarily. But am I still a Midwesterner? Not entirely. This is a weird limbo I did not expect to feel. The feelings and emotions related to trying to adjust to the Big Apple while also remembering that I grew up visiting my aunt's farm and camping every weekend are more complicated than I anticipated. I still reflect on the Midwest in a loving mindset, but it has created a whole new problem I didn't anticipate. When I moved to New York, I immediately felt out of place and missed my family and friends. I was certain I would stay for one year and then crawl back home. Little did I expect that I would wholeheartedly fall in love with this city and struggle with my identity, who I am as a professional, and what I see for myself as I enter my 30s. Am I going to stay in New York forever? Will I find myself in a Riverwest bungalow 5 years from now? I have an answer to neither question. This year in New York has been the most emotional yet life changing experience I have ever had. I truly believe I am right where I am meant to be yet I would be lying if I said I don't get anxious thinking about what is next. Learning to be okay with the present and live in my feelings as they happen is something I actively try and improve. I still struggle with anxiety and worrying about what will happen to the rest of my life. Living half way across the country from where I anticipated I would spend the rest of my life continues to be a struggle for me. If you take one thing away from this post, allow yourself to feel two things at once. Allow yourself to be curious about your emotions and what they mean without creating panic. Give yourself more attention than you give to others because you have you forever, no matter what. I have grown professionally and emotionally in the last year more than I ever imagined possible. Do I have it all figured out? Nope. Do I know where I will be in 5, 3 or even 1 year from now? Nope. Is that okay? 1000%. And I can confidently say that I would not have had the courage or strength to face that anxiety of what the future holds if I had not taken the leap to NYC one year ago. So here's to what is yet to come; whatever it is, it is meant to be. And that is okay.
Can you relate? Let me know below.
xoxo Miranda from the Midwest